Burnt! April 24, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in DoOOdLesS.add a comment
Gosh.. when i reflect back on how i spent my weekend, i came to the conclusion that, despite all the plannings i did, NOTHING came out right… sigh… Well, i DID managed to pick up munchkin from his trip to Singapore and take him to his futsal game… other than that, nothing much. Had to drive sis to the clinic at about 3am in the morning , coz she had food poisoning.. then naturally, i spent the remaining morning up till noon making up for loss sleep.. (hehehe.. alasan gell!!)
Am gonna be sooo busy for this week and next, i wont be in the office much.. dunno if i can write anything then. let see how it goes.. sigh… its already bl**dy late and i’m still in the office.. this is sooo not funny. hmmphh..
Talk about being a workaholic.. 
Dilemma of a skinny girl.. yes, you read right.. we have dilemmas too! April 21, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in HeaLth.add a comment
My munchkin has been away for 2 days now.. sigh.. me sad! 
the good thing is, he's coming back tomorrow.. yipee.. ( mengade nak mampos!).. hahah.. obviously i'm just so bored out of my mind, i am simply babbling and writing craps..
Sigh.. some would die to have so much free time to blog and surf the net or whatever.. But as for me, i've been doing it for about 3 days now, and it is getting to me already.. I WANT SOMETHING to do… but i cant, coz i'm not certified and trained to use the systems they use here.. yet.
will be going for the training the week after next. Next week is my orientation, so thats cool. thank god its Friday. m so looking forward to the weekend so that i can just sleep and see munchkin!! 
well at least there's also another two other things to look forward to today.. 1) mama is comingfor lunch at KLCC, and 2) the office party at 4 today.. yipee.. FOOD!
Talking about food makes me glow.. i love food.. really i do, though that doesnt show. Unfortunately… sigh.. so i guess, thats what today's blog is gonna be about lah.
Some people thought i'm just trying to be anorexic, you know, not-eat-to-keep-slim.. and also bulimic, eat-and-puke to keep slim.. but no, thankfully, i love food.. and i enjoy eating, pretty adventurous with it too. Sigh.. but i CANT seem to put on weight.. Good for some right? but SAD for me.. orang marah bila aku komplen aku kurus, tapi its also bad being too skinny..
For example, i'm shivering and shaking in my office at the moment coz its TOO cold.. tapi orang lain rase panas/ just nice.. Sebab ape? sebab i dun have enuff insulation! then, there's also the issue on clothes.. true, "big" size people cant fit into certain clothes, but if you are in my shoe, it is also frustrating when you can fit far too easily into some clothes.. and sometimes, it looks just damn unattractive and ugly jugak.. Plus, takde size and you hae to venture to kiddies section, which would be either too short, or hanging 2 inches away from your belly button. And i cant go to work like that can i???
Sometimes, we skinny people pakai baju, nampak macam you gift wrap a broomstick for your fren's birthday.. get what i mean? We look like a pretty wrapped sate lidi. And yes, some jerk did dump me because i was too skinny.. (sad right? thats why i call him a JERK!)
I think i finish more money than the average people coz i buy clothes and then send it for alteration which costs more, sometimes, far more than the price i paid for the damn thing in the 1st place.. take for example the pants i wear to work sometimes.. i bought it from S**D at 60% discount!! Good buy eh? Then i had it sent to one of those alteration outlet you can find nowadays in shopping complexes, and was charged more than 50 rgt for it.. (!) which brings the price back to almost the ORIGINAL price.. haha.. funny you think?? NOT!
And it pisses me off when people tell me to eat more!!! My close frens and family kate i eat like a P*G dah.. Dont ask me, i also dunno where the food goes.. well, toilet bowl eventually, but probably none stays in my body.. Shieks!!
There you go, a dilemma on weight from a skinny girl..
** dang! mama just called to cancel lunch.. thanks to my youngest Brat Sister!
Sexy outfits = Rape. April 19, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in CuRreNt IsSuEs.add a comment
Was reading a column in a local english paper N*T, probably outdated a bit la this post yah.., but the writer was commenting on a particular menteri who was sad to say, ignorant and insensitive enough to come up with such equation as above..
First he was merely commenting on how to brush up on the "akhlak remaja" issues and what could be done to curb such bad instances..fair enough. Then he brought up the point of 'public kissing, holding hands, and in extreme cases, smooching'. Fine. Apart from holding hands, i honestly would also have some reservation on the kissing and smooching in public… The so called "Public affection" however, isnt lost to some… like the other day, i passed a car in the parking lot of OU, to find a couple smooching as if there was no tomorrow.. Gosh! Get a Room!
So anyway, back to the story of the said column, the writer then went on to describe how the said minister started talking about how a girl dresses, (yep, specifically girl..) would actually encourage men (!) to rape them..
OMG! How bl**dy insensitive is that?! Dude, in case you are an ignorant minister, let me highlight to you that there were cases, numerous cases, of girls in tudung and baju kurung- our national attire- being raped. one apparently happened in a bus, on her way to work! pleaseee.. i doubt she was flashing her t*ts to the driver!! And oh yes, how about that 9 year old girl in a southern state that was brutally raped and murdered by a bunch of saikos? I doubt it was because of her attire.. nor was she sexy in any way.
Mr Minister, undoubtfully, there were cases in which some girls do bring it upon themselves.. for MANY other reasons and NOT just attire, but please do not simply shoot your mouth of like that if you are just too ignorant to read the papers, and make your own simple-brainless-insensitive conclusions.
Sigh, it is sad to rely on these sort of peeps to run the country.. oh by the way, worse still, there was also another person, a pretty top notch minister's wife who blantantly said the same dumb thing.. in a press conference. Sad thing was, those reporters who were damn pissed with what she said,and started typing the story for next day's paper, later received a call to NOT publish what she said.. Talk about mis-use of p o w e r and rank. Probably her PR finaly realize that the madame has just dug her own grave.. oh hell. Lets see what she says when it happens to one of her own.
power abuse and dumb remarks.. S e x y outfits = rape? Pass me my hotpants and tank top.. Its a hot country.
~
Freshie! April 18, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in DoOOdLesS.add a comment
I'm a freshie again.
Just joined my new company last week, which makes it my 4th day today. and so, i'm still a freshie to this company.. First day went thru like a breeze.. Came in late, ( but they practise flexi hour anyway), and left early coz i had nothing to do. Spend the whole day bugging another colleague, (but i guess she doesnt mind the distraction either), and was the first to leave. HEAVEN!
If only everyday is like that. Sigh…
My 4th day, and am already rolling !! Spend the first half of the morning updating records of reallly weird names.. you guessed it, expats. haha.. i'll be seeing a lot of those in years to come. Have already been acquainted with some of them.. Very nice people..
I have training next week, and probably tomorrow as well. .. the "privilege" of being a freshie. Oh, and there's also a bunch of Online T E S Ts to take. urrgghh..
But aint complaining coz the new place rocks!! Believe it or not, ( i still cant believe it myself!), there's a pool table + foosball table + a s t r o in the pantry.. yup.. gile laa.. How do this people work? But then again, i bet after a while its kinda lost on you after being here more than a few years with more work to juggle than a newbie like me… And i have also discovered the joy of enjoying 4 ( FOUR!!) cups of chococino + vanilla mocha everyday, thanks to the N*STLE NeSC*FE machine in the pantry.. sigh.. The joy of such inventions is NOT lost on me.. hehhe..
All that said and done, work is a different story altogether.. Its gonna be altogether a very very NEW territory for me.. Venturing into something i never did before, nothing of which i was groomed for by B*T nor O*K.. Personally, i'd love to go back to doing Recruitment.. but you need a technical background for that.. hmm… might just go and do that.. Take up an engineering course. hahaha.. ( time time otak dah nak karat nih gurl? dream on!)..
Mighty long post huh? Not really.. BUT it is long for someone with tons of SH*T sitting on her table.. hheheh..
~~ Chalo~
SillyGirlSillyGirlSillyGirlSillyGirl…. April 7, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in DoOOdLesS.add a comment
This blog is about how i came up with the title in the first place..
Actually, its my 2nd last day with the company.. Yep, i have tendered, and serving my notice period. Sad? Yep, because i will be leaving a bunch of really good frens despite knowing them for only 3 months.. Happy? Yep, because i'm going to an industry i've long wanted to try.. and.. i dont have to deal with *saikos* who wont admit they're wrong.. hehe ( dang! made a mental note NOT to say anything negative- cant help it jugak..)
Anyway, one of my colleague is upset that i'm leaving, that she started calling me a silly girl.. And she was pretty enthusiastic doing it too.. Thus the whole string of "sillygirl".. which became the title of today's post. thehehe
Anyway, thot of doing a simple mind tagging about the post:
10 things i remember most about the Co.
1. Big Bad Bull, carved out with the ass and balls, into exact details..
2. The piles of resumes that was sitting on my desk to sort out for different departments, up till today, my 2nd last day. hehe
3. The first time i was drenched to the skin, sebab gatal nak redah hujan to balik on time!! Partner in crime, Nash.
4. the feeling of biles rising up in my throat, on my ride up in the levator to the 20th floor first few weeks i was here.
5. The un forgettable experience of interviewing someone with really bad BO with Kerr!! OMG..!
6. The time we interviewed a guy who kept on burping and farting after every few sentences… (serious!!)
7. The time some b**ch made me cry after 3 months, bcoz of some stupid issue.. sigh
8. The day i got an allergic reaction during an interview, because the candidate decided to infest the meeting room with ants from her obviously-never-been-opened-for-a-long-time-certificate-holder, complete with ant eggs and all. errgghh…
9. the les**an couple who are not so discreet abt their feelings and "affiliations".. if i can put it as such..
10. The fact that some people in the company are in denial and just cant seem to see that the problems actually lies with them.. sigh.. define blind.. blinded.
10 things i like/ gonna miss about the Co
1. I dont have to drive to work- i take the LRT, no hassle!
2. Surrounded with lotsa places to eat! shopping complex nx to us!
3. My strategic cubicle to eat, blog (!), and of course work (cough..cough), away from Boss's eyes and the damn camera in the corner.
4. The BIG BAD BULL, our maskot!
5. No restricted websites on internet by IT — woopsie! please, gmail and google was blocked at my previous co.
6. Kakak's coffee every morning, and tea every afternoon! — gonna miss this!
7. Interview session with really funny and outrageously weird candidates- which i wont get to do anymore at the new place.
8. Unlimited supply of food and snacks from colleagues
9. The Lesb**n couple who keeps me entertained (and nauseated at the same time!) on my floor..
10. LAst but NOT least, my colleagues/frens/shoulder-to-cry-on/sounding-board.. who was there, warm and welcoming .since my first day of work.. sob sob..
Since i choose to remain anonymous (konon laa, for how long la agaknye..) in this blog, only few of them will ever stumble to this page.. but anyway, here's a toast to those frens (and very nice ppl to work with- mgrs, staffs) who made my stay at *** a memorable one, and thanking you for the kindness, warmth, and friendship shown.. Roops, Kerr, Nani, K.Az, YSum, T.S.En, Pat, Nash, Yen2, OEJin, LKHee, *salute*.. Merci beacoup!
Heartbreaks and Relationships… Dedicated to Boy and Nick. April 7, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in Relationships.2 comments
Today's blog is esp dedicated to my 2 best friends, Nick and Boy.
Achtung!: Some of you might find this post soppy and mushy..
2 years and a half ago, i went through the most difficult time of my life. I didnt just lose my beloved papa to cancer, i also lost the shady tree i took shelter under through all the hard times ,and played around through the good times– my relationship.
As much as papa's death was a blow to me, i was still able to accept it as fate, mainly because he was in pain, and it was best for him to go.. eventhough it broke MY heart to see my uncle slowly wrap him in kafan. But losing my relationship 4 months later after courting for 3 years.. that was a double blow. My only consolation is.. If i can survive my dad's absence, then the breakup is peanuts. Boy, was i wrong…. Heartbreaks dont heal that fast… And it'll still haunt you long after…
But even after the break up, i was also glad for the frens who were by my side.. consoling and lending me their shoulders to soak up my river of tears and phlegm alike.. (!).. the thing about break up is, it will last as long as you want, and cut you AS DEEP AS YOU LET IT BE.. sad but true.. when you hear your heart breaking.. and when you feel like f*ck*ng up your life becoz you cant concentrate on anything but your realtionship, take another good look.. usually, most often than not, its your own doing.. you let yourself be dragged down by all the emotions you feel.
i know … i know.. easier said than done. That was also the time i went clubbing like mad! every single night, with Wanie. Yup, she was the bubbly fren who kept me sane and calm during those nights out.. Thank god for Wanie. But after a while, it hit me.. i wasn't doing myself a favour by going out and partying all night. In the end, i still go home alone, tired and lonely. Plus.. it was damn expensive to support all the expenses. Clubbing aint a cheap hobby y'know!
So i started paying more attention to frens and family.. which was a better option, i must admit. Till this day, none has failed me. So i stopped my late nights, partying and galivating around.. Concentrated on things that matters, like family and good frens.. At thi spoint, do i really know my real frens, and those frens who are only by your side when all is cherry and gay.. Another turning point in life. sigh..
Anyway, the moment i chose to concentrate on these things, and forget about my failed realtionship, the happier i became.. which goes to prove one thing–> i was in charge of my own happiness, and how i want to lead my life. I can chose to still mope around over my relationship, but i can also pick myself up, dust myself, and move on.
THEN only did i open myself up to meeting new people.. or in other words, start dating again–seriously. So that is when i met my current boyfren. and honestly, was i glad i decided to change my attitude towards life. Had i not, i might have missed a beautiful relationship.. Put aside the fact that IT also might fall and crumble one day (touch wood!!!), but at least, there's always that possiblity that he is the One..
Nick and Boy just went through the difficult time in their life.. Breaking up with those girls that they believe were the "One" for them.. For different reasons i'd say, but nevertheless, hurt just as much.. So yeah, having two bestfrens whose relationship fails within 2 months of each other does affect me as well.. It sucks to see one of them sad, much less BOTH.
The cruel (and shallow) way of calming them down would be saying that there are other fishes in the sea.. BUT.. face reality, none would ever be the same as the one you've lost. Maybe better, OR, maybe WORSE. Fine if its not the latter.. otherwise…. I'd hate to see some materialistic wacko hanging on to my best bud.
So.. to my two bestfrens… i totally understand how you guys feel.. and i'm sorry for what happened.. HOWEVER.. take your time to decide when and how to move on.. know this, time doesnt necessarily heals all wounds, but eventually it does numb it..at least. I wish you both the very best of what life and love can offer.. May both of you find your significant other… soon.
" Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes, it is letting go"
~Herman Hesse
Electrocution cures backpain??! April 5, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in DoOOdLesS.9 comments
I was electrocuted yesterday.. and my back pain went away.. weird huh?
Weddings.. (not mInE!!) April 3, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in Relationships.add a comment
so yeah, here's the wedding post i mentioned.
having reached the first quarter of my life, it also means that your frens start settling down and get married. For the past few months, all my weekends are booked for frens and colleagues weddings. The thing about wedding is, it either make you sad, or happy. One feeling would supersede the other.
My best fren's wedding on saturday was a grand affair. Twas the whole works, berinai, khatam Quran, bersanding and merenjis. Then there was the separate reception at night in a dress and tux for the groom. I was happy for them, truly am.. especially so because i introduced them both. Like what i di to my brother and sis-in-law.
The other wedding i attended last night, was also of a close fren. Not as close as i would like it to be, simply because i dont hang out with her and the others as much as i would like to anymore.. But was glad for the invitation nevertheless.
Her theme was blue, a very rare shade of blue. One i've never seen yet, in all my years of attending weddings. She was already " D' babe" during uni years when we go around without make-up, and now, with all the make up piled on her and her hair nicely done, and all the bling blings, she WAS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS on her big day. Her mom wrote a special dedication for her wedding, from Puisi to Syair, and pantun. Yup.. It was beautiful. If it was my wedding, and that was dedicated to me, i would have cried a river to challenge the Niles. (apparently, she did cry.. on the first day of her wedding.- i attended the 2nd day). Another happy /sad occasion. One of those "menagis airmata kegembiraan" sort of days..
I was utterly happy for both of my frens, and wish them the best, and nothing else. May they be together till the end of time.
What made me sad though, is that a marriage would be in place when i play matchmaker, and never when its my own relationship. Sad, but true. I only got as far as a pre-engagement.. not even officially engaged! sigh…
The thing is, what went wrong? What didnt happen? Or what did happen? Come to think of it, am i sad because i'm not married when most of my frens are, or is it because i dont feel like i've met someone worthy of marriage, and vice versa?..
To some extent, one does feel kind of pressured to get married, especially when you see frens start having kids. But is that the only reason you get married, beacuse your friends are happily married and having kids? Or do you get married because you finally found someone you can live with for the rest of your life? If the latter is the case, then what about those friends who are now divorced? What would be the utmost reason or BIG SIGN that you are ready to get married?
What is it that suddenly goes *BLING* in these ppl's heads that a guy would say "please marry me" and girl goes, "YES! oh YESSS!!" …
Some people dated for 8 years, and broke up over a stupid fight. Some dated for 6 months and got married, happily. My longest relationship was 3 years, and that didnt work out for the best. Am now in a 9 months old relationship, but i dont have a clue where this is going.. We do love each other, and we do talk about marriage, we have both met the other's parents and families, so… what next? I put it down to financial. He'll probably say the same. But isnt pure love suppose to supersede all that too? Shouldnt we both work it out and get married. Money shouldnt be a problem right? BUT IT IS!
But isnt 2 heads better than one? So, if we do get married, and pool our income together, shouldnt that work?…
so many questions, yet i cant find the answers.. hmmm..
Pain , pain, Go Away!! April 3, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in HeaLth.add a comment
Spend the weekend doing a medical check up on Saturday.. Pre-employment medical that is. It was bloody thorough.. They took 3 tubes of blood (god knows whatever for..), made me pee infront of a medical attendant (!) so that i dont exchange/ switch my urine with someone else's incase i'm a druggie (duh!!), had weird lil tubes plastered to my chest for ECG-thats for checking my heart, did an eye test, put me in a sound-proff room for ear test, and last but not least, had a breast examination done by one cute-single-young-male Dr.. heheh
All in all, it was a very embarassing experience.. sigh.
I have fully mastered the i-dont-give-a-shit-and-couldnt-care-less look, aka poker face. How the hell do you expect me to keep a straight face when having my breasts squeezed and inspected (yes….!) by a young male Doc.
And then i attended my childhood fren's wedding later that night.. It was a beautiful affair.. But i'm making a mental note to write a different posts on that issue later.. (*note- posts on weddings). Anyway, right after i came back from the wedding, i started to experience this piercing pain on my back, between my shoulder blades. It hurts like hell!! So i spent the whole Sunday from morning til maghrib flat on my front groaning with every move i make. Yes, it was THAT bad.
My sweet sin-in-law was kind enuff to massage it for a bit, and it went away for a while. Thought that was that, but NOOOO… as i was standing in the train today on the way to work, i suddenly had the same piercing pain shooting up my right side. Guess what, am now sitting at a very odd , ramrod straight angle. Slight moves and turn would be excruciaingly painful.. HOW NOW?? Am planning to have it checked out. Soon.
Sigh.. i hate to find out that something is wrong.. What if i have a slipped disc? Or A fracture in my rib? Or that i accidentally popped a vein somewhere.. Urrgghh…
Why oh why didnt this happen BEFORE my medical check up? That'll not only save me one more trip to the Clinic, but at least i get a cute Dr to examine me.. sigh.
Dear God, please make the pain go away…
Cry BABY!! March 30, 2006
Posted by blackwidow in Uncategorized.add a comment
I hate a particular bitchy chinese woman (note the singular) boss who thinks she is the GOD of all employees in *** (co name withheld for libel purpose)..
AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
She made me cry, and i hate her.
IS it my bl**dy fault that your accounts department collapsed because they hate YOU? If you expect them to come to work every single f*cking day, come hell or high water, and i quote you " even if their fever is pitch high, or blood pressure as low as tanah (it should be bumi, stupid!), i dont care, in MY department, they have to come to work everyday, unless they are on their death bed!! " unquote.. <– said with very nyonya pelat..
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY LEFT AND YOUR DEPT COLLAPSED?!! Insensitive-inhumane-thoughtless-bee yatch..
i dont blame them..
and i dont like you.
Why did i cry you might ask.. well, apart from PMS, and the blinding migraine i have.. picking up the call to a lunatic screaming her head off for some reason, that isnt my fault to begin with, and hanging up with a "none-of-your-business" to my polite enquiries on what the issue was, isnt really helping to calm my nerves and headaches..
IF its NONE OF MY BUSINESS to begin with, why the hell did you call me in the first place?! you SAIKO woman??Q!! @$%&*@^%$#+…
i need tissue… sob sob.
